Redrafting+your+essay

__How to redraft your essay __ It's really important for you to develop the skills of independently redrafting your own essays so please use these handy techniques when reading through your essays. __Firstly: __ Read through your essay and give yourself a mark on this sheet each time you achieve one of the key criteria. If you create a tally you will be able to easily identify where your strengths are and what areas you need to improve on. __Secondly: __ Do your paragraphs link together? If you have discussed the Silvikrin advert in a previous paragraph and you are moving on to your second advert you should have a sentence that links these two items together, such as:  In adverts for beauty products, such as Silvikrin’s, the woman is often portrayed as being obsessed with her appearance. This is starkly contrasted with adverts such as the Rice Krispies campaign where a mother is seen baking with her young child. __Thirdly: __ Check your examples. Have you simply stated that one advert is similar to another before moving on? Simply referring to adverts can be effective if you’re making a general comment about a type of advert or a representation and you want to back up your point with 2 or 3 different examples. However you should always aim to analyse an advert if you’re comparing it to your main one. Bad use of an example: The woman’s dress code is professional and smart to suggest she is intelligent and a successful businesswoman. This is similar to Loreal’s Jane Fonda advert. Good use of example: The woman’s dress code is professional and smart to suggest she is intelligent and a successful businesswoman. This is also used in Loreal’s Jane Fonda advert where she is seen to be wearing a crisp white shirt which connotes business and professionalism to the consumer. The colour white also represents innocence and purity. **When redrafting on paper you should write a (1) where you wish to add more information and then write (1) on a new page and write your new part. That way you can easily see which bits you need to insert where. **
 * Representation (can be a stereotype, or adjectives such as confident, flirty etc)
 * Audience
 * <span style="font-family: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; font-size: 13px;">Other examples
 * <span style="font-family: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; font-size: 13px;">Organisations (what magazine might this advert feature in? why would the company want to use celebrity endorsement? Why do celebrities have to remain positive role models when advertising products?)
 * <span style="font-family: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; font-size: 13px;">Analysis (explaining the intended purpose or meaning behind colours, gestures, facial expressions, stereotypes etc)